'An important voice, beautifully written.'—Evie Wyld
Read an extract
A memoir on love, lust and attachment: one woman’s remarkable and candid account of transforming a difficult and uncomfortable love triangle into an honest polyamorous relationship.
Lucy Fry’s story opens with the heady and impassioned affair she embarked on during her wife’s pregnancy. It is a relationship that appears to be unstoppable, perhaps even addictive, despite guilt and self questioning.
With intense and unflinching honesty, she takes us on a compelling journey from childhood trauma and addiction to sobriety, from infidelity to ethical non-monogamy, and—perhaps most intensely of all—from her fear of parenthood to her exquisite joy at having a son.
L and B’s love for their new baby, ‘The Boy’, changes the dynamic once again. They fumble through early parenthood, in a way that many will recognise, while at the same time trying to fathom and fashion a unique journey of their own.
Amy and Books, bookstagrammer8 July 2020
I love the cover of this book but I loved the inside even more. Easier Ways to Say I Love You is a memoir about the author @lucy_fry_writer’s polyamorous relationships and becoming a mother.
It is an intoxicating, thrilling and compelling read. A very honest and real portrayal of her relationships as an adult and also with her parents in childhood. I felt every emotion alongside the author, the highs, lows, indifference, guilt, shame, pain, love, jealousy - everything!
There was lots about attachment theory, which is something I’ve learnt about in my work. I found this link with childhood very interesting and I imagine this must have been difficult to write. The author tells us that writing is an essential process for her and that much of the writing of this book was her way of coping with some of the things she experienced. The content is explicit but necessary and the writing is brilliant. I learnt at least two new words when reading it!
Cen_sational Reads, Bookstagrammer18 April 2020
Lucy gives you a very raw, real account of the complexity of all sides of relationships. How childhood trauma can have an effect in adulthood therefore has a kind of domino effect on any future relationships.
Lucy has been openly honest in inviting you in to read about her life. The life of her wife B, her lover A & on becoming a parent.
There’s an intensity and in parts very hot under the collar within this.
Some parts I found a little tough going but I think that it was due to the intensity of the topic
Beautifully written- it has been stunningly put together.
Jodie Reads Books, Bookstagrammer18 April 2020
It’s my sixth review in as many days, and there’s more to come (yay for the backlog!). Photo is featuring my very dramatic dress because if there’s one plus to lockdown it’s wearing the wildest things in my wardrobe with abandon.
Today is one I can’t help recommending to people over and over. @littleredlibrary ordered herself a copy of this and read it straight through - go and check out her great review!
Easier Ways To Say I Love You by Lucy Fry took me by surprise. Blurbed as a memoir on queer polyamory and different forms of family, I was expecting a bit of a romp. Instead, Lucy Fry lays herself bare and encourages the reader to do so too.
The book starts in an extremely divisive matter, launching straight into an affair the author was having whilst her wife was pregnant. Fry employs this level of shock throughout the book, building the reader up and then employing hard truths when your guard is down. This is a book in which you learn as much about yourself as you do the author.
One of the most poignant threads in the book is Fry’s journey into motherhood - how the opinions of outsiders make her feel ‘other’ or less than. She grapples with the dynamics of all of her relationships and ultimately finds peace by stripping everything down.
Covering a range of subjects from polyamory, jealousy, motherhood, mental illness and personal politics, Easier Ways to Say I Love You has something for every reader to relate to.
Little Red Library, Bookstagrammer18 April 2020
As soon as I saw the synopsis for this book on Jodie Reads Books stories, I knew I had to have it. Lucy Fry writes so honestly and with such raw emotion about depression, love, addiction, parenting and polyamory. This isn’t always an easy read and Lucy writes unapologetically about self discovery and finding her way. That is what makes this book so special.
If you have struggled with figuring out who you are and who you’re becoming as a woman, or a mother, or a wife/partner, I think you will recognise elements of yourself in Lucy’s writing. I know I did.
The Candid Book Club, Bookstagrammers18 April 2020
Easier Ways To Say I Love You is a memoir by Lucy Fry which details her own relationship withe her wife as they not only become first time parents but also explore and engage in a polyamorous relationship. It begins with a vivid exploration of L’s affair with another woman during her wife’s pregnancy, a visceral love affair that sweeps you along in its fervour and explores how this affair leads to a new, polyamorous direction in which their marriage then goes. The narrative also explores issues surrounding mental health, loss, jealousy but is always centred around love.
This book was so surprising to me in many ways. Firstly at the amazing honesty with which Lucy Fry writes about her own personal experiences, leaving nothing out and beautifully exploring her emotional journey through her marriage, affair and polyamory and her honesty in which she writes about her own mental illness and her family history.
Secondly, how it made me question my own personal prejudices around the subject of polyamory. I found myself making snap judgements (you need to choose, that’s not fair to be going off with another woman) and through the course of the book recognising them as prejudices that were instilled in me and being able to see this relationship from Lucy’s point of view.
Lucy’s prose is intelligent, funny, acerbic and wonderfully descriptive. As a reader, you are taken on every step of L’s journey and never once does it seem onerous or self-indulgent; rather, it is a delicate and beautiful exploration of what love can mean in our modern, sexually liberalised society.
Definitely one to read to gain new perspectives on life and love, after all, it is essentially a love story but one that explores loves greatest highs and lows.
Liz Robinson, LoveReading Pick of the Month29 January 2020
A scaldingly intimate, powerful, and actually rather beautiful autobiography where the author reflects on her relationships and love. Lucy Fry is a journalist and currently training to be a psychotherapist, here she tells her story which includes her mental health, polyamorous relationship, and parenthood. It is pointed out that the truth is always someone’s story, but this just feels so incredibly heartfelt and rawly honest. It is as though she has reached inside herself, split open and poured out her innermost feelings and thoughts; and yet the way she writes ensured that I didn’t ever, ever feel as though I was intruding. She examines the hidden, concealed, and mysterious side of love, and as I read, I thought… of course, I see, yes! Easier Ways to Say I Love You is unflinching and intense, yet incredibly thoughtful and warm, it touched my heart, and opened my mind, in fact, I rather fell in love with this book.
Reading_For_My_Mind, Bookstagrammer26 January 2020
This is a memoir like nothing else I've ever read. There is so much passion and honesty involved. It's almost as though I delved into someone's manic thought process all being thrown down onto paper, without stopping for breath. But in the best possible way.
This book is so much more than Lucy's polyamorous relationships. This is a raw and open account of all different types of love. Love for her wife, her son, her lover, her parents, herself. I've never read anything like it. And it took me a while to get into the style of writing and the directions it was taking.
If you enjoy strong female visions, memoirs that openly discuss sex (a lot of) and passion, then this book is for you.