Lucy Fry is a journalist and personal trainer, and she is training to be a psychotherapist. A former wellbeing columnist at the Sunday Telegraph and Easy Jet Traveller magazine, she has written widely on physical and mental health and is the author of Run, Ride, Sink or Swim: A rookie’s year in women’s triathlon. Lucy graduated from Oriel College, Oxford and has an MSc in Creative Writing from Edinburgh University.
Lucy lives in South London.
Interviews and Features
Living Apart with Love by Lucy Fry for The Gottman Institute
‘The space B and I need, to grieve and heal our twelve-year-long relationship, and to allow it to evolve, is being tightly squeezed by external pressures; widespread fear, a lack of work and all the usual things to do. Yet there is a sense running alongside this that we all need to be better, stronger, and more compassionate than ever! In essence, we are required to step up when we are feeling most like lying down, something that I suspect applies to each and every family, since being forced to remain in close proximity with loved-ones for weeks is arguably just as challenging as enforced separation or other complicated scenarios.
So we wait, and watch, and grow. Some families will become more unified, and others might break apart and reconfigure. One town under quarantine in China, Xi’an, reported unusually high divorce requests, and I suspect that isn’t a coincidence. Rather, these extraordinary circumstances will amplify all existing interpersonal dynamics – positive or negative – and it is our choice whether we wish to use this as an opportunity to notice and nurture such dynamics and do what’s necessary to help them shift.’
From surrendering to meltdowns, what being treated for addiction taught me about coping during lockdown
‘Eight and a half years ago I spent five weeks in quarantine, just outside London in an addictions treatment centre, in an attempt to give up drinking.
I’ll never forget that first, shocking week, when all the usual physical freedoms and emotional crutches were unceremoniously stripped away. I was not allowed a mobile phone or a computer, nor access to internet at any point. Meals were the same time every day, and snacks were strictly forbidden. There was no alcohol or caffeine, and nothing resembling a proper gym. Visitors were permitted, once a week, for just two hours. I could make one call, and take one walk each day, but neither for more than 30 minutes.
I raged and sobbed, a lot, in those five weeks, just as I have in these last three. Of course, it would be ridiculous to compare the enormous hardships that individuals and families are experiencing right now amidst Covid-19 to my rock bottom as an addict, or ensuing recovery….’
What happened when my wife and I opened up our relationship by Lucy Fry for iNews
‘As a child I wanted to be many things including a writer, actress, cricketer, and a boy. I also imagined I might get married, and perhaps one day become a mother.
I certainly never dreamt of having two intimate relationships simultaneously, nor did I think it was an option.
Fast forward 30 odd years, though, and that’s what happened. I was eight years into a long-term monogamous relationship with B. One evening over dinner we both admitted that we would like, ideally, to explore attractions with other people whilst also continuing to love each other.’
Lucy Fry on Up the Arts Podcast
'I was terrified of becoming a mum' Lucy Fry for Stylist magazine
‘When my wife, B, told me she was pregnant, over four years ago now, I felt numb and vaguely worried.
She was so excited and hopeful about the news. So why didn’t I share in that joy? Not only had she recently miscarried – and the remnants of that trauma were very much still hanging around, in different ways, for us both – but I had begun to wonder if parenthood was, really and truly, what I wanted.
I was obsessive about writing. I also loved weight training, yoga, and I was learning to hold a handstand. All of those things took up a lot of my time, requiring the kind of rested body and clear mind that I knew a baby would prevent. Was I about to lose all my independence, along with my ability to do everything that brought me joy?’
Lucy Fry questions her feelings towards motherhood and how they’ve changed since the birth of her son for Stylist magazine. Read in full.
This is the first year I... Lucy Fry on motherhood for Metro
I haven’t felt able to fully inhabit, or celebrate, my motherhood until now, for many reasons. Firstly, like many first-time parents, it took me a while to get a handle on the job requirements, and to recognise my capabilities. Some of this was because it wasn’t me, but my wife, who was pregnant, nor was it me who birthed our child. I’d never wanted to carry a baby, nor to give birth to one, and my wife always had, so the decision about who would be his birth mother was made fairly easily.’
Are polyamorous relationships the new dating norm in 2019? Lucy Fry for Stylist magazine
‘Can you be in love with more than one person at once? Polyamorous relationships are becoming the norm, with ‘thruple’ relationships showcased everywhere from 2017 hit film Professor Marston and the Wonder Women to Netflix’s The Politician. But what is it really like being polyamorous – and are there any pitfalls?’
The Journey of Lucy Fry with Residence 11
‘I just wish that I’d had someone I could speak to, to give me a realistic view of what life for the long term partner is like, and how difficult it can be.
Early on in our relationship, we talked about separating for a bit so that I could have a chance to explore my sexuality—having only ever been with one woman really. I was too frightened of losing B. and all her support and all her love to do that.
I wish that we’d had the courage to do that before we have a child. I wish that we had been slower on the relationship escalator—to trust that we would have been okay.’
Read the interview in full HERE.