‘When my wife, B, told me she was pregnant, over four years ago now, I felt numb and vaguely worried.
She was so excited and hopeful about the news. So why didn’t I share in that joy? Not only had she recently miscarried – and the remnants of that trauma were very much still hanging around, in different ways, for us both – but I had begun to wonder if parenthood was, really and truly, what I wanted.
I was obsessive about writing. I also loved weight training, yoga, and I was learning to hold a handstand. All of those things took up a lot of my time, requiring the kind of rested body and clear mind that I knew a baby would prevent. Was I about to lose all my independence, along with my ability to do everything that brought me joy?’
Lucy Fry questions her feelings towards motherhood and how they’ve changed since the birth of her son for Stylist magazine. Read in full.